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I have been friends for over two decades, who has faced and conquered several obstacles, which I admire. But, she has been constantly caught off guard in relationships. Her partner ended their marriage, and it was an unexpected event. A lot of her social circle disappeared at that point, because they seemed focused solely on her husband. It shocked her. She put in greater energy to be my friend, likely grasped more acutely the essence of true friendship.

The Pattern In Relationships

Throughout this period, many close to her have drifted apart and she isn't sure why. The company she worked for suddenly changed toward her, despite the fact that she had been an excellent employee, and she left not understanding the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Lately, both of us left the workforce and are seeing time together, however, I feel my position in our friendship is as the audience. I start discussion points only for her to redirect the talk toward what interests her. Regarding political views, she has unyielding views. I try to propose factchecking and different perspectives.

She's been organizing a holiday abroad I've visited on several occasions and lived in previously. I attempted to offer advice, however, my input unappreciated. She essentially solely sought my agreement with her plans. I've just ended four weeks in that country she is eager to meet, but I don't.

Weighing the Options

I don't want to be a friend who cuts and runs abruptly, but I don't think she can comprehend the consequences of how she acts on my confidence. Right now, my state is avoidance mode. How should I proceed?

Potential Solutions

One option is to cut and run, yet this is seldom the peaceful resolution that we desire. However, addressing it with a view to working things out demands strength and readiness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates applying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step is to state what typically happens when you talk. It should be based on facts like an unbiased account. Step two is to tell the way it makes you feel. This allows for no dispute on this point. Your feelings are your feelings, of course. Step three involves requesting ways you together can shift the pattern between you."

Keep in mind she too has a point of view, meaning you must to remain ready to listen to her. One effective method involves stating to the other person:

"Please share your thoughts and I'm going to listen without interrupting for 30 minutes."

It's wildly effective in fostering better communication.

Closing Considerations

She might reject everything, since certain individuals hold onto a self-protecting mindset: they have a narrative about themselves they cannot release as it feels essential is tied to it and it represents they've known. This is difficult when there seems no easy route here, just dead ends. Yet she could at first react like this and then think about what you've said. And even if a resolution isn't found a resolution, you'll have satisfaction from having been honest with her.